I'm Mikey, I rock.

2011-11-23T19:47:00.001-08:00

2011-11-23T19:45:00.000-08:00

I Just Need Somebody To Love

2011-08-08T11:47:00.001-07:00

2011-06-28T10:38:00.000-07:00

2011-06-22T12:20:00.001-07:00

2011-05-10T16:54:00.000-07:00

It took just under 1 year to get 200 views. In order to earn the title of "viral" I believe you need at least 1,000,000 views. Look out year 7011, Gale is going to be famous!

2011-05-02T18:01:00.000-07:00

I sat in the passenger seat of a stranger's truck as we pulled off the road into what seemed like a vacant parking lot. My window was down and it was nice outside. I heard a young voice call out:

"Excuse me"

I looked up to see a 5 year old african american boy trying for my attention . I made eye contact with him and he asked a good question.

"You ever shot a man?"

"What's that?" I asked, sure that I heard him wrong.

He pointed down at the asphalt and then nothing more was said. I didn't see anything on the ground so I can only assume he was threatening me.

2011-04-19T16:54:00.001-07:00

2011-03-10T15:17:00.001-08:00

I just played Minesweeper for about 5 minutes. Without fail, every second click of my mouse landed on a mine. I will never win the lottery.

2011-03-02T13:49:00.000-08:00

Today in class, our professor asked who in the room had ever taken diuretics. The class was large so when I rose my hand, I did not anticipate being the only one. The professor looked around for a second and saw me just as I was lowering my hand. He asked what the drugs did to me. I was in the back of the classroom so I knew I needed to talk loud. I cleared my throat and answered,

"IT MADE ME PEE!"

It was much louder than I wanted and my voice cracked a little bit when I said "pee". That was when everyone looked back to see who the idiot was. It was me.

2011-01-13T18:03:00.000-08:00

When someone does something on accident, it is common to say "oops".
I've noticed a lot of people spelling it "opps".
Am I wrong in thinking they are wrong?

2011-01-07T16:37:00.001-08:00

2010-12-22T13:03:00.000-08:00

2010-12-02T12:15:00.000-08:00

I've been attending Provo College in the mornings. I am in their Graphic Design program because I have a great eye. Finals are coming up for us Provo College students. In my DD483 class we have only had one assignment the entire semester which also happens to be our final. The instructions we were given are as follows:

"In this class you will be stretching the limits of creativity and expanding your minds at the same time. We ask that you do this with only the use of art. This means no drugs, toads, donating excess amounts of blood, getting very little sleep, watching "Fox and the Hound" or huffing paint. You are being asked to keep a dream journal for two months. You will then be expected to extract a theme from those dreams and turn that theme into a visual piece of something. This assignment is to be turned in on December 8th to room 3185 on the second floor."

I completed this project and I believe I excelled.

2010-11-19T13:46:00.000-08:00

This weekend Gale performed. We played in the upstairs of a home. About half way through the show it began to get warm so a window was opened and the show continued. This show was performed without an audience but we soon found out that a crowd was gathering in the alleyway downstairs. The show continued. The people loved it. They brought us brownies. They wanted more of our music but all we could offer was what was on Youtube. The fans have demanded that the hits get churned out so keep your eyes peeled for some brand new Gale come December.
I must add a disclaimer that can't usually be added to my posts: This is a true story.

2010-11-15T16:23:00.000-08:00

I realize I don't usually make a fuss about things, but some people didn't know that my most distinguishing feature has been ruined. Just thought I'd let you know. Luckily I look good in white.

Ethmoid Haiku

2010-11-11T23:30:00.000-08:00

I have learned today
Q-tips are not just for ears

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

2010-10-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

Lime

2010-09-01T13:42:00.000-07:00

I love school. I love learning. I love textbooks. I hate money which is good because the things I love take money away from me. I love team work. I love pig skin. I love game clocks. I love cleats. I love P.I.. I love rivalry. I love torn ACL's. I love first downs. I love butterflies. I love highlighters.

I love Cougar Football most of all.Ima bring the hurt this Saturday against Washington.

Ask our neighbors

2010-08-19T16:45:00.000-07:00

I'm back and I'm better than ever.

I know many of you are Dragon Ball Z fans

Me too.

Barry Good

2010-08-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

BeeGees.
Stayin' Alive.

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive.

House of Mirrors

2010-06-10T18:51:00.000-07:00

I was recently told that a haircut would be a good idea. I'm not saying that he or she isn't right, but hair can be a beautiful thing. I'd go so far as to say that my hair is a work of art. As the owner of my hair, I think I know what I'm doing. If a change needs to be made, I will be the one to make it. You don't see anyone telling Da Vinci to put Ms. Lisa in a pastel blouse. Nor do you hear the people demanding that The Beatles remake "Hey Jude" to become "Hi Lily" -- just isn't going to happen. But I'll be honest, I've been considering getting a haircut for a while and I kind of want to make it short. With that being said, I'd like to take a walk down memory lane with some people who have shared my various cuts.Special thanks to Will Friedle, Hilary Clinton, Barry Melrose and Martha Plimpton of Goonies.

The Ones

2010-05-19T21:59:00.000-07:00

This is Gale. The pictures have nothing to do with the song but have everything to do with me. Enjoy.

PhosFate

2010-04-28T16:20:00.000-07:00

Some people wear contacts to better their vision.

Some people wear contacts to change the color of their eyes.
Some people wear contacts to do both.

Some people use fertilizer to assist their grass in growing
Some people use fertilizer to make their grass greener
Some people use fertilizer to do both

I use fertilizer to ruin my vision and to make my eyes change colors.

This past weekend I decided to get fertilizer in my eye.
Best day ever.

Don't worry people, I washed it out immediately. I've got my vision.
But look what else I've got:SEXY

Football

2010-02-02T13:23:00.001-08:00

SOMEONE was supposed to teach me how to play soccer, but that never happened. This hurt me at first, but I decided to train myself. Flight simulators seem to be a big deal for the hopeful aviator so I took the simulator route as well. I, and the USA, destroyed Cameroon and I feel good about where my skills are going.

Running Man.

2009-12-12T14:29:00.000-08:00

I did a 5k on Thanksgiving this year. I got 156th. The crowds were so big that I don't think I can put an exact number on the amount of participants, but my educated guess would be somewhere around 7,000 runners. Suddenly 156th doesn't seem so bad, does it?

These are just some of the guys I ran it with this year. They really needed someone to help pace them, so I went ahead and stepped up to the challenge.

2009-11-18T15:58:00.000-08:00

Thanks Jules.

2009-11-13T14:15:00.000-08:00

I want everyone to know that I am one of the most sought after participants for so many events. I'm just saying if you are in need of my presence at something you're going to need to act faster.

Unfortunately, I'm unable to attend all of these events due to conflicting times.

To remedy this for future events, I will be taking the events that stack up throughout the week and making my own event. This event will consolidate all the people and plans that were offered to me. I think I can really save people a lot of time and open up so many social circles.

I'm really doing people a favor. Perhaps I should start some sort of Event Consolidation Business. Maybe I could sell stock, set up some fundraising, get some advertising out there.

Long story short- Jacknife Powerbomb concert tonight at 9:00 pm.

Mutually Assured Destruction.

2009-11-10T15:43:00.000-08:00

My right knee is not what it used to be. The last couple days I've been walking and she'll give out. Yesterday it happened but I was able to catch myself and managed to stay standing. My luck changed today when I was brought to my knees.

ZING.

Things would not have been so bad had I not been surrounded by people. I was immediately taken back to grade school as the laughing began. I'm sure I was embarrassed enough that my face turned red. That's the worst for me because I feel like it takes forever to revert back to my normal color. I look forward to the time when she gives out at a dangerous time. If it were to blow out during my balance beam routine I could be ruined. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

2009-11-03T23:20:00.000-08:00

Don't tell me what to do, Facebook.

Tahiti

2009-10-29T11:20:00.000-07:00

A lot of my friends have been traveling the world for service purposes. I hate being outdone, so I went to French Polynesia for 6 weeks and taught in a third grade classroom. It's amazing the bond you can make with people in such a short period of time. The children loved me and I can't wait to return.

I'll be making a second trip in late November should anyone care to join. Click for more details. www.Kaiizen.com

2009-10-28T23:40:00.000-07:00

It's time people know

I am a Gap model

What of it?

Is it an Emergency?

2009-10-20T21:45:00.000-07:00

The Ernest L. Wilkinson Student Center has some great technology in it, specifically in the restrooms. I'll tell my audience now that this is a bathroom post, so if you find that you are particularly squeamish or if you have a pacemaker, I recommend you stop reading now.

So, I entered that restroom today and I stepped into a very roomy stall. I'm used to the ones upstairs in the Wilk that open inward so when you step in and attempt to close it you find that you are very much in the way and immediately resolve to lose weight. I was pleasantly surprised when this stall opened outward and was a cinch to close. I then took a seat. The automatic toilet thought I was done and flushed in one of the most violent ways I've ever experienced. I think you can all understand what I went through at that time. A few moments later, what sounded like a group of two or three other students entered the room. One young man found his place in the stall directly to my left. He slammed his door and I watched as my loosely latched door creaked open. My instincts said jump up and close that door. I did, but I regret that decision. Later, I found out that the toilet paper dispenser has a motion detector that, when activated, relays a portion of tissue and then stops. This is how I imagine it was supposed to work, but not today. I placed my hand near the sensor and it poured out so much paper that there was not room enough to receive it. I hit it many times and it stopped. I had a good time in the Wilk.

All dogs go to Heaven

2009-10-19T00:29:00.000-07:00

I was on the Facebook when the right side of the screen pulled me in. The suggestive language(suggestive does not always have to mean sexy, does it?) of the average advertisement seemed to be transformed from a request to a command as I read the words: "8 veterinarians are online! Ask a question about your dog's disease, get an answer ASAP." You got it Dr. Scott, who has 9 years of small animal, equine and pocket pet medicine and surgery experience, Ima ask away.Apparently Dr. Scott was trumped by a "DrAndy" who seemed far less professional. He asked me to make a $9, $15 or $30 deposit in order to get my answer. When these fine men and women made the decision to save the lives of Earth's animals, were they only thinking of money? It makes me sick to think of all the decent people I can't seem to find anymore. What if Corbin, my three year old Jack Russel Terrier, does have swine flu? I turned to the internet for answers and once again the only way I can get them is if I offer up 16 digits. Forget you DrAndy and forget you Dr. Scott. Forget you Dr. Loyata and your UC Davis degree. Double Stuf all of you, straight up.

I'll have you know I gave "DrAndy" a $15 deposit.

It is fully refundable should I find his answer unsatisfactory. As I got deeper and deeper into www.justanswer.com I found that refunding would be much more difficult than anticipated. I ended up talking to Camille on the phone for about 30 minutes. It's good to have a use for my weekend minutes, but I never thought it would be with Camille and for this reason. She was a smooth talker, but all who are familiar with me know that I'm as smooth as they come. After listening to her spiel for about 8 minutes, I made the vomit noise that I've been made famous for. She asked if I was okay and what that sound was. I told her it was the sound of my body rejecting the crap she was trying to feed me. She did not find that clever but I hit her with some more gold during the course of our conversation. After what I am calling "War of Wits '09" I not only got my $15 back, but I got a $25 gift certificate to Home Depot. Those changes I wanted to make to the attic are about to come to fruition.

Who won in all of this? Certainly not Corbin. You could have saved a life Dr. Scott, but you had DrAndy pounce on me. Shame on you. Shame on all of you. Also, who will be driving me to Home Depot?

Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.

2009-10-12T00:20:00.000-07:00

I'm wearing my retainer right now. That is not a normal thing for me. I wonder if my teeth will hurt in the morning. I believe that they will hurt. Remember when Kimmy Gibbler is supposed to make beef wellington and she comes over to the Tanner residence and says she needs Beef and whatever the heck wellington is? Yeah, I like that episode too.

I just spent some time looking up clavicle surgery. There are some gross pictures out there. Thank you doctors and other people that took pictures at some weird times during surgery and posted them on the internet.

Sometimes when I see the scar over my right clavicle I fall into a bit of depression. Why? Mostly because my dreams of being a shirtless runway model are essentially ruined. I think I would have to become quite famous in some other way and then resort to modeling after a successful career in something else. I'll start by becoming a world renowned cricket player in England, get cozy with the royal family, be knighted by the Queen, sell an album that goes quintuple platinum and then become a shirtless runway model after all that so that people would think my scar was a fun novelty rather than an atrocious reminder of the day Ms. Sarah had too much to drink.

The reason that hair looks weird to you is because that is my hair "paint"-ed on.

2009-10-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

I created a Myspace account last night.

I did it all so I could message this guy and get some of his music in some way or another.

I feel stupid because I've been checking my account every 30 minutes to see if he has responded.

I think Myspace will be the new Facebook because it is so much cooler.

This is me in the Tri-cities area:

Microsoft Paint is good.

L.C. and M.E.

2009-09-27T20:10:00.000-07:00

Directed by Josh Evans

2009-09-25T03:53:00.000-07:00

My blog is 1 year old. I am 22. I'll never get to see my blog take its first steps, or hear its first words. I'll never have to remind it that the bathroom is the only place we do that. I'll never know the satisfaction of having the coolest house because I always have capri sun and totinos pizza rolls for the kids. I'm going to miss out on a lot, but at least at 3 Am on Friday morning, September 25, 2009 I listened to Bert Jansch- Smoky River and played Tetris. Take good care.

McConaughey/Hudson

2009-09-09T23:59:00.000-07:00

Ever had Little Caesars? Two nights in a row for me. Ima be knocking out heavyweights in no time. Although... I may have been persuaded to change my ways. I was told today that I was more of an ultimate lover than an ultimate fighter. I thought about all the times when i've been tempted to declare war. Those instances have always just ended up with me declaring love. While I am still going to train as a warrior, I'm also going to start Casanova training. I am not quite sure what that entails, but Bee Money says I start on Friday. Can't wait!

Heston/Baxter

2009-09-09T13:06:00.000-07:00

The girl in front of me is eating peaches from a small cup.

She had juice all over her fingers and then she touched her face.
Should she be worried about future outbreaks?
Maybe she should look forward to weeks of clear skin.
What if peach juice has some sort of positive dermatological properties?
If so, I'm going to be rich.

If you want to get in on this with me, call my hand phone and we'll discuss it.
Here is a picture:

Thanks Kelli

Gyllenhaal/Dern

2009-09-09T12:29:00.001-07:00

Astronomy is cool.

Timezones are so cumbersome. Aren't they though? I remember that living on the easy coast was so cumbersome sometimes. I just wanted to watch some television but all the good shows start so late. I remember the year of 2001 was a good year for me. I was 13 turning 14 and I was in love with the hit ABC television series "The Mole." Gosh it was a fantastic show.
Sometimes I was unable to watch it so it would have to be recorded on our VCR. I hated that, it was so cumbersome, it just wasn't the same. Today I stay up and watch what I want. Sometimes it is a 6 episode package of "The Nanny." Other times it's episodes of the History channel smash hit "Pawn Stars." My life is very interesting. Don't you just wish we could watch television all day and never sleep? Sleep is so cumbersome.

She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens,
Til her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes.
What was she to do, where was she to go
She was out on her fanny.

So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door,
She was there to sell make up but the father saw more,
She had style, she had flair, she was there,
That's how she became the Nanny.

Who would have guessed that the girl we described
was just exactly what the doctor prescribed?

Now, the father finds her beguiling, watch out C.C.,
The kids are actually smiling, such joie de vivre
She's the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan.
The flashy girl from Flushing, the Nanny named Fran.

I hope for your sake you didn't sing this in your head as you read it.

Eckhart/Swank

2009-09-09T11:02:00.000-07:00

I LOVE SCHOOL. school is like the most fun thing in the world. Today I am making like so many posts. I decided that one post per class is a good start. I am in geology and I will be sure to include the joke of the day for Dane because he loves jokes. He really likes when jokes are about pirates and steering wheels.

JOKE OF THE DAY: What do you call a cow with three legs? LEAN BEEF. What do you call a cow with one leg? STEAK. What do you call a cow with no legs? GROUND BEEF. Jokes are fun.

Kelli and I played M*A*S*H during class because we are super smart and don't need to pay attention. I've got good news. I found a sweetheart and we had children. You were wrong Mom, I did find someone.

I will live in a House.
I will drive an ivory delorean.
I married Courtney and had 5 children.
I am a geologist and live in oceanside.

Can you believe I pay tuition to do this?

DiCaprio/Winslet

2009-09-09T10:14:00.000-07:00

It hasn't felt right creating these new posts and not including a picture of me and Kelli. In this particular picture you can learn a lot about Dane, Kelli and myself. It is apparent that Dane loves fun. He is able to find joy and happiness in all situations. Dane also loves different shades of green. I remember one of the first times I was playing NBA Hangtime with him he actually told me that his favorite color was green. I thought that was weird but he insisted that we share that type of information with one another so that we could be more unified as a team. He was right, Thorpe and Hill scored a dizzying amount of points that game. Go Pistons!

The things we can learn about Kelli in this picture are too numerous to list, but I'll highlight a few. It is obvious that she is super into me. Also, she hates different shades of green. One of my first memories of her was set in Provo, Utah. She was trying to get me to go to the movies with her but I kept telling her I was unable to attend. She then spent three to four minutes ragging on the green shirt I was wearing. She really hated it. Because it was green. I don't think that is fair but I understand that she was upset about the movie. Maybe next week, Kelli.

Now, what can we learn about M.E.? Well...
super handsome
great hair
loves lanyards
some of the most gorgeous blue eyes
flawless complexion
keeps cool in times of pressure
able to empathize
clearly has an IQ that exceeds 165
probably great handwriting
quick learner
great with a highlighter
great with a kiln
great with marsupials.
I'll stop there. Feel free to continue this list in the comments if you need to.
I feel obligated to mention that most everything, except for the list about me, is not entirely true.

Washington/Hawke

2009-09-08T12:10:00.000-07:00

Training Day-

Yesterday marked the first day of my training to begin my fighting career. I began my cardiovascular and strength training with a good run. Also, I thought very intensely about a bike ride but never got around to it. I did two chin ups and a pull up which I was very proud of. Most important to my training, however, was my diet. I started the day with a delicious bowl of peaches and cream oatmeal. I'll be honest, it was very old and didn't taste that great, but the idea of eating breakfast changed my whole day. I then decided to not eat anything until about 6:00 pm when I destroyed an entire Hot 'n Ready while watching Bloodsport. Later in the evening doughnuts were brought over and I had one. Then I later had another. Then I later finished off the remains of another. Then my future wife from across the street brought brownies over and I had one. Then, Dane went to Macdonalds. Just to top it off, I had a McDouble. That sucker absolutely melted in my mouth. You may think this was a terrible diet, but I honestly don't want a doughnut, a brownie, a slice of pizza or a double cheese burger ever again. By that I mean I probably won't have any of those things until about Friday. This should be a very effective couple of days.Thanks Dane.

TRAVOLTA/CAGE

2009-09-08T00:15:00.000-07:00

No one has really seen the struggle I've been having with my blog header. I became weary of the old one and made some changes. I tried a picture of an upside down Banzai tree, a pinball machine, a video of Frank Sinatra, a sketch I made, a short poem that I wrote, a castle that i drew in Microsoft paint, a topographical map of Lichtenstein and an artist's rendition of the subconscious. I think what I settled with is perfect. It is everything I need right now. A new start always makes me realize how lacksidasical I really am. John Stamos has always been my hero and for that I drink to him this evening. Here is to you.

On an unrelated note, I have a virus on my computer. It is neat. I think the virus' job is to tell me that I have a virus over and over. I was watching a movie on my computer with the volume all the way up and a pop up came on and said my computer was unprotected. Along with the pop up came a violent shriek that scared me. I jumped a little. If someone was watching I would have been a little embarrassed but I actually found myself getting mad. I decided that being angry was weird and I changed- Thanks Brother Stamos...I guess this paragraph was not entirely unrelated.

Also, this was in the running for my blog header but never made it up. Let me know your thoughts or if you have any suggestions of your own.

Hey, we're back.

2009-08-17T15:26:00.000-07:00

Despite the negative responses we've gotten due to our blog affair, Michael and Kelli will continue to blog together. But mostly just because Kelli wants more traffic directed to her own blog.

This is Kelli speaking. Mikey has deferred from making any comments until he gives a brief testimonial at the end of this post. One month ago today, Mikey was hit by a car in a near-fatal accident. In Mikey's words, "the anniversary of being demolished by a hatchback." Mikey's friends and family are very grateful to have him here today. After seeing him on video chat shortly after his surgery and while he was still severely drugged, I was grateful to see that he was still alive and semi-well. But throughout history, Mikey has put up a good attitude about everything. In Meg's words, "You and the way your mind works, Mikey!" This was said after Mikey was eating a brownie on Sunday evening, and some crumbs fell into his button down dress shirt. We all thought that after his exclamation, he would say something negative after seeing the brown crumbled brownie pieces fall into his crisp white shirt. But no, Mikey continues to say, "Man, I'm going to be pleasantly surprised tonight when I find that extra piece of brownie when I change out of my shirt." That's the way Mikey's mind works, people. And that's why we love him.

Mikey will now give his portion of this blog.

"Dear friends, family, esteemed members of BYU's faculty, Hien from 'Aero-Fighters', Lovers of life and Brittany,

I am excited to be here. One month ago I was hit by a car. That car changed me. I took some of the metal from that car and I put it in my shoulder. I have grown very much from this whole ordeal. I have considerably less movement with my arm than I did before, but thats cool, who doesn't love starting over? You will be glad to know that my wall crawls are improving and my pendulums have never been better. I have yet to see if magnets will stick to me, but I anticipate finding out today. Donations are still being accepted for my leather jacket that I wanted to buy. Please see past posts if you are confused. I really need that leather jacket. I really do. Really, I do. Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. Also, thank you for the turtle bars. ;)

Your friend and mine,

Michael William Ellis IV"

my name is kelli and i think mikey is cute (and vice versa)

2009-08-11T14:00:00.000-07:00

Almost Famous.

2009-08-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

This is MWE and KNB speaking. KNB is a guest speaker on Tayhookid's brand new blog post at Soriso Clothing's request, thanks to DeepThoughtsAndLove. Meg's Window and Hottest&Freshest can get a shout out too.

MWE says KNB is doing so good at this that I can continue this blog post on my own while he lounges in his chair and slips into a coma. Quite like a lion in a coma. Enough digressing. Today MWE came into the TEC Lab and was looking for excitement and some LOLs. So I gave it to him. After looking up some of this and some of that, we got bored and went on to this. I had used the Heritage Celebrity look alike website before, but it was being ridiculous, so we found a new one. We found out that we looked like the following celebrities:

This has provided us with about 2 hours of pure ROFL entertainment.

(But don't worry, Mikey didn't hurt his collarbone in the process)

Playing the Klavikord

2009-07-20T13:36:00.000-07:00

That one bone is supposed to be connected. This has been a blessing in disguise though because I've always wanted to see "The Break-up" starring Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston and this weekend, I did. Worth it? Absolutely!

Surgery will be performed on July 20th. Tickets for the observation deck can be found at

UtahValleyRegional.org/surg/observation.

I hope to see most of you there!

Fiscal Solvency

2009-07-14T00:27:00.000-07:00

The stress bug drop kicked me in the face and then sunk its teeth into my skin. It's alright though, it's good for me. I believe I have a gift of not sweating the stress, but when it comes to finances and budgets, I feel that it all goes a little over my head. While enjoying examining my monies, I navigated to BYU's website and found this guy:

This is the face of a man who is not happy.

A Late Christmas Gift.

2009-07-10T05:32:00.000-07:00

I once heard that hypnosis can be as therapeutic and relaxing as 4-6 hours of sleep and a 2 hour massage. I could sure have used some hypnosis 5 hours ago.

In an attempt to get very sleepy, I rummaged through my luggage that I have next to my bed. After discarding the journal I got on my mission that says "Pure Intelligence Ruff" on the cover, I turned to some video taken in the winter of 2008. I worked with what I had and made something great. It captures everything that is me: My love for Lauren Conrad, my demand for justice in board games, my love for Final Jeopardy, and sexy singing of your favorite Christmas carols.

On a personal note, I laugh every time I see Adam's face when he points out he beat my two year old nephew, Ethan, with 6 points in whatever game they were playing. Also, when my father says "excellent" after getting me to say hello, I laugh. I also hope that all Ellis' will notice the final transition is a patented "star wipe", you're welcome. I hope you enjoyed, although this was mostly to get me through the night. We did it! time for a shower and off to work where I may or may not get paid. God bless America.

Arnold to Zimbabwe

2009-07-08T13:38:00.000-07:00

With my being terminated, I have so much more time on my hands. I took a trip with some friends. We all visited our dream destination. I've always wanted to enjoy the night sky of Sweden. Dane would not stop suggesting we visit Rhode Island. Kelli did not get her Africa fill in the past weeks and Eric wanted to explore the Pyramids. He bought a hat that makes him look exactly like Indiana Jones. It's cool!

You can't fire me, I quit.

2009-07-07T15:04:00.000-07:00

Michael William Ellis experienced his first layoff today. Aaron asked me to gather my things and go. No one even said goodbye, not even Julie. I've gathered a stack of news paper and stole some windex from Smith's and now I'm going to stand on the corner of University and Center and wash the windshields of stopped cars. If that doesn't work, i've got this:

Daft Punk Da Funk

2009-07-02T14:16:00.000-07:00

If you didn't know, I'm a professional Funk recording artist. This particular song(turned music video) was done strictly in garage band, so I apologize for the electric guitar. It's okay though, because the deep message shines brighter than the low quality guitar. I gathered some of the people closest to me and asked them one simple question: "How do you feel about things?" I took a few comments from our conversations and incorporated them into the muzak. This theme came of their own doing and without any coercion on my part. Lets just make everyone free. Ya mean, ninjas?

Portland Trailblazers

2009-07-01T15:18:00.000-07:00

I've been playing Oregon Trail like it's my job today. Special thanks to Dane for getting me excited about it. Dane wasn't able to change disks halfway through the game, so I thought I'd take over his wagon as team leader with Meg, Dane, Brooke and Eric as my team. As a farmer from Illinois, things didn't look good, but i'd like to document our journey for you from start to finish, lets see how it goes.

We started off in Independence on April 1, 1848- no foolin'. After being on the trail for about 3 weeks, Meg got into some trouble. After having travelled just over 600 miles, Meg broke her leg. I slowed down the pace of the team and took a few days off but it wasn't enough. On May 3, 1848 we woke up to a sad scene:

We continued the trek and one evening around the campfire we were having an arm wrestling competition. Brooke and Dane were in the semifinals against each other and Dane took it a little too far.

There was a lot of contention after that wrestling competition. Dane and Brooke actually didn't speak for almost 3 weeks. Then, one morning Brooke spit in Dane's cream of wheat and he got very upset. I've never heard him yell so loudly. "GO TAKE A HIKE!" he screamed. Brooke took his advice.

We found her with a local indian tribe. She had feathers in her hair and so many dream catchers around her neck. She never was the same after that. Two days after she joined back up with team "sexy back" she contracted Typhoid. Being the only living women on our team really took its toll on her. About a month later we made it to the Green River. Eric danced on the shores of the green river and really got team morale up. He actually met a young lady on the shores of that river. Her name was Zenobia and she was so weird. I kept telling Eric he was only with her because she had what seemed to be a never ending stash of the ganja leaf. He denied it.

Towards the end of the hot month of July, Dane came down with dysentery. He would get so hungry and just beg and beg for some buffalo wings. He complained that this was the only thing he could hold down/up. As a strong, able-bodied, sexy, accurate, rugged, robust man, I took to the forest to get my team some buffalo wings.

Yeah, thats right, I'm a man.

Throughout the trip, Eric and I never seemed to get sick, break anything, get lost, light anything on fire, etc. Eric never really complained until our team and Zenobia's team decided on different routes. We stopped for 2 days and she just wept in his arms. It was a rather uncomfortable thing to watch. She gave him a small portion of her stash and went on her way. After about a week, I heard Eric's first complaint:

Many things happened after this. Broken wheels, wagon fires, dead oxen, shoshoni indian guides that took our clothes and dog fights. However, on September 7, 1848 we arrived in beautiful Willamette Valley, Oregon.

It's gorgeous, sorry you missed it Meg.

And just to prove I beat it:

Number 2 of the Oregon Top Ten. It feels good to be a winner.

You have washer dryer?

2009-06-29T15:27:00.000-07:00

I just thought everyone should see the burn on my hand because it's dope. It looks much better in person.

Avril Lavigne(cont.)

2009-06-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

I missed the NBA draft pizza party.

I give up on today.

Stike June 25 from the record unless my nephew is born today.

Avril Lavigne(cont.)

2009-06-25T16:16:00.000-07:00

Fanzz does not sell Royals hats in Dane's size.

Avril Lavigne(cont.)

2009-06-25T15:55:00.001-07:00

Farrah Fawcett too?!

oh dear... :'(

Avril Lavigne(cont.)

2009-06-25T15:48:00.000-07:00

And Michael Jackson died.

He sure knows how to make a bad day a terrible day.

Avril lavigne

2009-06-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

It has been a weird 12 hours. It took me a while to fall asleep. Thank goodness I had 2 hours worth of "The Bachlorette" to watch. I watched and then laid in my bed for a while. I had a dream last night that a bunch of us went to Salt Lake. For some reason everyone was saying we should get a hotel room. I told them I knew people that we could stay with. Everyone was excited about the idea. I got on my phone and was having the most difficult time getting people to let us stay with them. Our window of opportunity for hotel rooms must have passed because when I relayed the news that I had not found a place Daniel Francis was very very mad. It was a very frustrating dream and the frustration carried over into the morning.

It was exceptionally warm last night and this morning. I'll admit that I did a lot of sweating. I woke up at 8:30 after about 4 hours of sleep. It might be impressive to know that I woke up without an alarm, but I can't take any credit. I awoke because of the large bee crawling on my face. I didn't know I was terrified of bees, but I am when they are on my face. In an effort to regain the pride I lost from my frightened gasp and scrambling out of bed, I tried to kill that bee. The best I could do was trap it between my window and the screen. I'm curious to see how long it will live. When I regained my composure, I went downstairs to shower. I turned on the shower and very little water came out. Usually when this happens it means the sprinklers are on, but when the water stopped coming out entirely I decided I had just been punk'd.

Eventually I found a working shower across town. While shaving in the shower the water quickly got very cold and it made me jump a little bit and I cut my face.

Also, I got a paper cut on my thumb today.

Just feel bad for me.

Mezeker

2009-06-22T04:57:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've decided that blogging is an appropriate alternative to sleeping. It's been great. I've been sleeping past noon without a problem. When pretending to be asleep has gotten old I reach for my laptop to kill some time. The murdering often comes in the form of "Boy Meets World" episodes on youtube, but tonight it came in typing my name into different search bars. I liked what I found. My favorite was def poet Mike Ellis. He was spitting truth and taught me how to say "remember" in some Ethiopian language. For that, I am indebted to him.

I continued my Mike search bar adventure. I found a jet aircraft salesman, a hip hop artist, a director, a saxophonist, a web designer, a photographer, a reggae artist and an action figure. I hope you noticed the name of the series from which this action figure comes from. Maybe it was the fact that I had a conversation about what I'm doing with my life several times today, but seeing all these Mikes made me wonder what people will find out about me when they Google search me in 20 years. I hope my secret wish of having Mike shaped macoroni and cheese pasta has worked out by then.

With my inability to be passionate about anything other than tart frozen yogurt and big league chew, I will continue to doggie paddle through my college career and watch animal collective videos at 4 in the morning. Ima go ahead and have nightmares of giant Vlade Divac bobble heads napping in the barn 15 yards from my window now.
Good morning.

Skip

2009-06-21T02:33:00.000-07:00

Nehemiah Curtis James was born today, June 21st. 107 years ago. Thanks for doing what you did, brother. My parents affectionately called him "Skip". Skip was actually the first African American man to ride one of these:
Skip is celebrating Father's day and his birthday, so when you tell your father you love him, also tell him "Happy Skip's birthday day". Also, everything about Skip other than his birthday is not true, he is actually this guy. My parents don't know him and after some research I am still not sure who the first African American to ride one of those old timey bicycles was. He should get some recognition. I'll keep looking.

Rare Cardio Day

2009-06-20T02:28:00.000-07:00

I said I wouldn't write on this blog for 2 months. I decided that after I hadn't written on it for about a month and a half. It was a goal with no reasoning behind it, but we did it. Heres to Mikey- Collegiate athlete, handsome boy, blue jean baby, turquoise sweater, amateur boogie boarder, lawn chair salesman, bird watcher, hot tub repairman, duck ponder, rhythmic gymnast, radiologist, support specialist, vacation planner, ring bearer, serf, phone book ripper, clock ticker, whip whipper, Cantonese cuisine lover, monkey trainer, novice billiard player, butler, traveling circus, avid comic book-er, dog fighter, snow shoveler, Tony Horton, spandex wearer, babysitters club fan, part time contractor, candy tester, endangered aquatic mammal specialist, long arm of the law, pyrotechnic, leather worker, reverberated, break dance instructor, maize farmer, geography bee runner up, coin collector, winnebago-er, crazy drunk steve, down hill rider, fence jumper, follicular unit extractor, pepper sprayer, Gerry Raferrty lover, fashion police, radio personality, newel post fixer, attic dweller, snazzy, FDA approved, hyperlinker, thereminist, score keeper, tape user, electric feeler, proboscis, rock and roll organ, corsage wearer, tap dancer, Acer fanatic, fresh air intaker, spark plug, arborist, machine head, sound/savage/secret gardener, 3X5-er, the occasional 8X11-er, interluder, post nasal dripper, catalouge reader, horse breader, dough kneader, strike leader, smelling of cedar, crocodile feeder, race car speeder, stock breeder, coaster advocate, loch ness monster seeker, melodica maker, hand stander, rosie o'donnel is related to chris o'donnel enthusiast, blogger, smelling salts inventor, syrup of ipecac avoider, poison controller, substitute chemistry teacher, prison barber, dust brainer, math tutor, a man, a stupid stupid man, a paramecium brain, lawyer, so many peoples happy thoughts, load bearing wall, snack bar manager, golden living center volunteer, camal rider, german translator, treasure hunter, librarian, demolition man, ryan reynolds, toblerone, wrench, buddy wrapper, acryllically tough as nails, serratedly witty, professional groover, historian, current economic downfall worry-er, adjective concocter, single, hunter gatherer, justinian, beach ball inflator, fourth in line, jeremiah laskey, rubber boot, ibuprofen hater, brief sabbatical, sweet vermouth on the rocks with a twist, straight on til morning, label maker, steam boat conductor, Mr. Holland's opus, three to four, underscore, Mikeike212, emailer, scientist, lifeguard, yiddish policeman's union hugo award presentor, adequate amounts of sleep, pretender, profiler, closer, alias, star trek voyager watcher, Jillian Harris, Iolis, rotator cuff, ice bath, barber shop singer, permanent marker, vis-a-vis, wardrobe coordinator, sound technician, corduroy hat wearer, tiny tim, miracle believer, Maverick lover(fighter pilot aliases and establishments that provide fantastic deals on candy), a dream, some substance, dag nab, merlin, pokemon player, MWExperience member, unecessary censorship, list maker. Mikey.

"Alberta" is not a palindrome

2009-04-17T16:45:00.000-07:00

Today was a big day. Some of you are no longer Americans. Think about it, how did you feel when you woke up today? Terrible? You are probably Canadian now. That isn't so bad, they enjoy lots of things that we Americans do not. For example: Meese, Newfoundland, the fur trade, closer association with Alaska, etc.

Youtube.com assisted in informing the world that some of you have woken up Canadian. I was hesitant to put my face on a Canadian flag for fear of appearing disrespectful, but when I saw the stereotypes they appealed to in this commercial, I determined that they(Canadians) wouldn't mind sharing their country with my mug.

Score: 9 Time: 636

2009-04-14T21:21:00.000-07:00

I officially have more than 2 pages worth of blog now. It seems like just yesterday my Team Leader requested I spend my time at work creating this blog. I never thought it would amount to anything, but it has. My ideas and theories have reached hundreds, maybe thousands. I've also seen myself mature over this blogging time. Who cares about baby safety month anymore? I sure as heck-fire don't.

I went to a Hebrew Choir last night. I sat in the front and center. The red curtains and the yellow light asked me to be uncomfortable, so I did and was and had and were and complied. One of the spring holiday songs ended with this as the English translation:

"Sew me clothes with pockets; fill those pockets with nuts"

That made me laugh, but it also made me laugh. It is something I've thought about since. This was obviously something very special to these people. What type of things would by my equivalent? In experimentation, I sang to myself some possibilities:

"Sew me clothes with pockets; fill those pockets with Drew Barrymore"...no, that's not it.
"Sew me clothes with pockets; fill those pockets with plaster of Paris"...nope.
"Sew me clothes with pockets; fill those pockets with Faberge eggs" ...there it is.

15-15 on the Juke Box

2009-04-13T13:15:00.000-07:00

Early April of 2008 was a quite a time for ME. ME is uppercase because of its being my initials, Michael Ellis. I flew into Virginia at the end of March 2008 and found myself restless. I gathered some loose change and sold all my best jeans and acquired just enough money for a ticket to California.

I arrived at LAX on April 1.I did not know anyone there at the time, so i set out to make new friends. I was not sure how to go about finding friends, so I went to the Bird Cage Club & Restaurant. While there, I saw four(4) of the best guyz enjoying a drink. I noticed them because I was under the impression that one of them was the love child of Art Garfunkel and Bradley Whitford and needed to get his story.

I am a rather shy boy, so I decided I could not just start talking with them. I circled around the table where they sat and began to sing "Bridge Over Troubled Water". I do a terrific falsetto. I really do. This instantly got their attention and they turned and watched me. I finished the song and they began to clap. That was where it all started. We became the best of friends. We did a lot of surfing and wore a lot of matching plaid that spring.

I left California at the end of April and haven't seen those guys since, but here is what I understand.

Gary(upper left) was contemplating entering the peace corps and wanted very badly to open his own sporting goods store. His tenacity makes me believe you will see that sporting goods store soon.

Bart(upper right) was not related to Art Garfunkel or Bradley Whitford but his name makes me wonder. Bart broke his wrist pretty severely on our last day of surfing together which pretty much dashed his dream to pieces of ever becoming a Viticulturist. I'm not sure why this crushed that dream, but he seemed pretty convinced that it did.

Travis(lower right) teaches calligraphy to underprivileged children in Yemen. Bless that boy. Travis was the most genuine of people and still sends the occasional postcard.
Janardan(Middle) was a devout member of the Hindu religion. He left about a week before I did on a search for Vishnu. He said his first stop was WaKeeny, Kansas and I just feel like Vishnu is not there.

Cow Hide

2009-04-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

I don't write on this blog often because I feel like I never have anything of importance to say. Who cares? If you're reading this blog, you must love my thoughts like I love my thoughts. I love my thoughts because they don't think it's weird when I'm thinking about saxophones or canvas or mummification or Sammy Lightfoot or long division or murals or off shore oil rigs or Harrison Ford or my fingernails or AC adapters or Spaceship Warlock or Aladdin and the King of Thieves or dissonance or chrome or Snuffaluffagus or Big Bad Beetleborgs or the South Pacific or buy one get one free deals I see in the newspaper. Sometimes I worry that I'm not a very good conversationalist because my thoughts don't transition very smoothly, so I enjoy a good think all by my lonesome. It is interesting, however, because my worries about my inability to converse well are due to my thinking too much. Quite a conundrum. An enigma wrapped in a mystery draped in a puzzle stuffed with a riddle. I say all this because I wanted to include more than just the picture of the leather jacket I will be purchasing in the near future. Also, I wanted this to be my gateway to publishing more posts that are of little consequence. Also, I am put at ease knowing that I have included a disclaimer to my readers that posts will be more frequent and less captivating.

This jacket is usually $300 but I can get it for $149.99 from Wilson's Leather. Would I be stupid not to buy it? YES. So here is the deal, because this jacket would cost as much as a month of rent, we're going to need to put together a fundraiser of sorts. Here are the following things I am willing to do in addition to your anonymous donations:

$1- This will get you a closed mouth kiss if you are a lady.
$2- open mouth kiss.
$5- I will give you a 30 minute self defense lesson.
&7- I will give you a guided bicycle tour of Southwest Provo
$10- I will write and perform a song for you and include a copy of it on Compact Disc
$75- I will give you my pillow(complete with pillowcase)

Donations can be sent via the intranet with the use of credit card at: www.MikeNeedsASuperDopeLeatherJacketWhereasToReachHisPeakSexuality.gov
Thank you for your support!

Did you notice that the symbol before the 7 is an ampersand instead of a dollar sign? I did.

Stop for a minute- Baby, I'm so glad you're mine

2009-03-03T11:16:00.000-08:00

As a young boy, I could be found listening (and dancing) to some great muzak. Home videos will attest to the fact that I loved dancing to Amy Grant and Mariah Carey at the tender age of 5. With my oversized white T-shirt tucked into my neon Orange and green shorts, Mariah's "Emotion" would play and I would groove. If I was feeling especially spunky I would follow it up with some "Baby, Baby" by Amy. When I would get set into motion there was just no getting over me.

One song that always had a special place in my heart was Billy Joel's "Pressure". You are probably not familiar with this song- shame on you.

I have found the music video for "Pressure" and I have the link for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYPNPnXj60Q&feature=related

You hear that part where he yells "PRESSURE!"? Terrific.

Also, enjoy this, Courtesy of Dane
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3uSyHE4gWo

I believe that my nimble body can be traced back to this time of dance - special thanks to the 80s and 90s for great hits. Bless you.

Mikey Mercury

2009-02-18T22:45:00.000-08:00

Why "Mikey Mercury"? two reasons.

REASON 1(one): I have begun intense triathlon training. If you are anything like the strong boy that sat at the front of the triathlon nutrition meeting on Tuesday, you have a look of disbelief on your face. Stop that. I am super strong. I have super strength. In my training I have rededicated myself to Omega 3 fatty acids. How? Canned light tuna.

Almost all fish is contaminated with trace amounts of mercury. Most healthy adults have no problem eliminating the mercury from their bodies. Children and women who are pregnant or breastfeeding should avoid some types of fish and shellfish to reduce their risk of mercury exposure.

I am neither a child or a pregnant women...well I am not pregnant.

Fish that contain the highest level of mercury are larger and older sharks, swordfish, king mackerel, and tilefish.

I've never had shark but if I did, I would want small and young shark. I've also never come across swordfish, king mackerel or tilefish. I think tilefish are fictional anyway.

REASON 2(two). I've been practicing my piano skills. More specifically I have been trying to learn the Queen song "Don't stop me now." It is very hard for me to play and sing at the same time so i forget the chords easily and this makes me feel like my performance is sub par. That makes me sad. I'm working on it though, so don't even study it, boy. For all those that don't know, Freddie Mercury is the lead singer of Queen; that is why this is reason 2(two).

What is a post without a picture? not much. Look down here.

You are welcome America.

I see skies of blue...clouds of white

2009-01-23T12:54:00.000-08:00

I recently lost my Sansa Fuze charger and data transfer USB cable. For all those who don't know, my Sansa Fuze is a fake ipod. It's taken me some time to get over this. I usually let my Sansa Fuze take me on a musical journey as I walk to and from campus, but no more. Having this lack of music has given me time to think. So with all this free time to think i've made some decisions and goals. I'm going to rekindle my love affair with poetry, specifically, haikus. Also, I'm going to work on my memorization. I plan to have the Watergate documents committed to memory by March 22.

V for Vacation

2009-01-08T14:52:00.000-08:00

While in the VA over Christmas break I hiked a mountain.
Also, my brother was there.

And his wife.

Just me looking super nifty neaters

"I am going to push you down this mountain and you are going to be hurt. So super hurt."

This is a shot from our video that we sent into the Washington Redskins cheerleaders.
Here's hoping they consider us.

Right before a foot connected with Andrew's face and he bled a lot. So much, a lot.

Chris and I played a couple shows. Small, intimate shows.

More to come. Please stay tuned for my Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger post. Its going to be good.

"I've been blessed with this gift since the day before Christmas"

2008-11-22T15:14:00.000-08:00

THIS IS A PICTURE OF MY EYE. I TOOK IT WITH PHOTOBOOTH. ALSO, I AM TYPING IN ALL CAPS.

'Nuff Said

2008-11-13T14:46:00.000-08:00

I have not posted for a little while. This is because I did not have much to say. This is still true. The Picture will do the speaking today.

ETHAN ELLIS

2008-10-28T15:10:00.000-07:00

Here's to Ethan. He was born this time two years ago, that is why we are celebrating his second birthday. The kid is freaking adorable. I've never met him, but i'm getting crunk this evening in his honor. Live long my man, live long.

"I'm hot blooded, check it and see. I got a fever of a hundred and three"

2008-10-21T14:49:00.001-07:00

I ran out of my "Brut" deodorant this past week. I spent a few minutes at the store searching for replacement Brut but did not find what I needed. I decided the next best option was to buy the cheapest kind. that seemed to be "Degree for Men". After a few days of wearing it, i've determined that the scent is reminiscient of eggnog, but there was something else to the smell. It took me a few days to determine what the additional aroma was, but i pinpointed it, it's "sexy". I have since then referred to the redolence of my deodorant as "Sexy Eggnog." How do you explain that fragrance without actually smelling it? see above.

"I should have stayed with dear brother at home"

2008-10-13T15:49:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness for "People" magazine that would let us know that Denver Nuggets all star Chucky Atkins and TV funny man Dave Chapelle are brothers seperated at birth. How did we not see it sooner? I could have sworn this shot of Chucky in the nuggets jersey was Dave himself. Oh the fun these two boys might have had. Would Dave be able to throw down a sick dunk? Would Chucky be able to offend millions with racist jokes and make the use of crack seem acceptable? Together would they put stickers on their bike chain guards that spelled out their favorite Mortal Kombat characters? Would they walk together up the street to the Circle K and steal lemon heads from the old convenience store worker? Would they play "Kick the can" in their buddies back yard and get legitimately angry when others cheated? Would they stay in a tree house after school to do their homework so their mother couldn't tell them to clean their rooms? Would they leave sharp objects in the road and get yelled at by a neighbor, and have to lie about their names and residence? Would they get in hard core fist fights with the rich folk in the adjacent neighborhood? Would they spend late nights smoking the mary jane in an incomplete office building? Would their definition of "hot-boxing-it" include a meal from KFC? Would they invent new events for American Gladiators and test them out and end up getting seriously hurt? Would they get locked in the closet of their neighbors house and be worried that they would never get out and begin to cry? Would they put pictures of their friends up in the post office? Would they put on plays based on movies they just saw, but change the names of the characters and claim they wrote it even when people said: "this is exactly like Indiana Jones!" Would they trip and fall while gathering tad poles from the creek and get their pants very muddy and ripped and remove them and throw them deep in the woods and then walk home perfecting in their minds the story of how a bigger group of kids beat them up and took their pants? We may never know, but then, who cares?

"I just got [censored] Paint'd!"

2008-10-02T15:09:00.001-07:00

This was all done in Paint, so don't judge the quality of these pictures or I will invite my friends to hurt you. With that in mind however, I would say these pictures look incredible. I mean to toot my own horn here.

A few of my closest friends and relatives will know that I had a healthy obsession with Juwan Howard while in my youth. Growing up on the harsh streets of DC, I appreciated a role model like Juwan playing for a team named the Bullets. The Bullets especially struck home with me since Washington was experiencing some of the highest homicide rates in the country at the time. I would wear Mr. Howard's jersey every day. The school yard came to know me as "Juwan Ellis" because of my incredible skills down low. You also may have heard of a little something called the "flying leaner," that one was mine.

I lost a lot of my passion for Juwan when he scored .3 points per game in the 2008 NBA playoffs, but you will still find me playing as the Bullets in NBA Hangtime. You may have seen that game where Juwan Howard(controlled by me) and Chris Webber(controlled by T Hales) dominated Detlef Schrempf and Shawn Kemp being controlled by Eric and Preston. It was a good game. I had the support of family. Special shout out to Andrew and Haley for being present for that game. That win goes to you, because we never have won since.

MWExperience

2008-10-01T14:25:00.000-07:00

Special thanks to the E.R.C. for his hard work on these. Here are a few of the newest additions to the face of the MWExperience. For all those who don't know, the MWExperience is a group organized to squash proposition 8. We hate that proposition here. I'm just kidding everyone. Those of you who are members of the MWExperience just got real nervous I know. No need to worry however, I know nothing of politics. To illustrate this point, future posts will be the opposite of politics. What is the opposite of politics you ask? Well the answer is Microsoft Paint. Set yourselves to stunned loyal viewers because Ashton and I are about to get some people real good. Welcome to "Paint'd" suckers.

Happy Birthday dear Government, Happy Birthday to you

2008-09-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

It would appear that I am infatuated with obscure celebrations in the month of September. Well, I am. Yesterday, September 17th 2008, I celebrated the signing of our nation's Constitution. 221 years ago thirty-nine bro's gathered and signed that sucker. That "sucker" changed the course of history. Anyway, I don't care how you all chose to celebrate this great day, but I spent a little over an hour listening to a panel of four men battle verbally. I feel like I would have been just as satisfied (if not more) by watching those same four men run on treadmills. Debates always seem to end the same in my eyes, those debating are not persuaded in the least to change their views and most of them leave more angry, sweaty and cynical than when they started. This Debate was different...it ended with refreshments. Thanks BYU.

All the things no one is going to read or care about

2008-09-17T14:42:00.000-07:00

Well, i know all 3 of you were really hoping to get to know me better. That time has come and is now. You're welcome to hold this knowledge against me, just because it would make me feel special that you actually read some of this. Look forward to posts this great every week fetchers.

Name: Michael William Ellis
Nickname: Mikey, Spokes, Michelobe, Leonard, smokey chops, The Tayhoo kid, the list could go on
Single or Taken: I am single, ladies
Sex: Male
Birthday: February 10, 1987
Sign: AQUARIUS
Siblings: I have 3 older brothers and ZERO sisters
Hair color: BROWN
Eye color: an explosive blue color, I invite most of you who read this to gaze deeply in them and see if you don’t smile with excitement
Shoe size: I am currently wearing 11
Height: 6 FEET
What are you wearing right now: Brown shoes, black socks, a belt, the same jeans I always wear and a shirt that I wore on a pioneer trek when I was a wee lad. This was originally my brothers shirt. I’ve kept it strong for a good 7 years
Righty or lefty: RIGHTY
Can you make a quid change right now: I had no idea what this meant so I took a minute and looked it up. A quid is a British pound and/or some tobacco, so I assume its asking if I have enough change to make a pound. So I looked up what the equivilant would be for my American self. Currently it takes about $1.80 to make a pound. I have no change on me… so…no I can not make a quid of change right now.
Relationships ------------------------------------------
Who are your closest friends?: My roommates
Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?: Neither actually.
Best place to go for a date: Well, here is a little bit of truth for you, I haven’t been on a date in a long time and they’ve always been double or group dates, I’ve never gone on a date straight one on one style. Some might say I am a coward or an obedient follower of the prophet, I’d agree with whichever. So, the last date I remember was a hot double that included a batting cage and watching of the hit movie “School of Rock.” I’d like very much to recreate that shoot.
Fashion Stuff------------------------------------------
Where is your favourite place to shop: Deseret Industries, by far
Do you have any tattoos or piercings? CTR on my chest, just right between the nipples. Ask to see it!
What is your favourite item of clothing you have? I am the proud owner of a Delta Skyteam shirt that was awarded to me because my luggage was lost. It was worth it, I love that little guy
Faves------------------------------------------
Color: BLUE
Number: 7
Food: My pantry would have you believe that it is tuna and oatmeal, but that is not true. I love Mexican food and tuna and oatmeal are seldom in your standard Mexican recipe
Subject in school: Ever? My seventh grade history class was wonderful. Mr. Olsen did a great job. He taught me what gams are. I love me a set of gams.
Animal: humans
Drink: I do like Inca Cola.
Celebrity: Timothy Treadwell, you may remember him from your favorite movie-Grizzly Man- if you don’t know him, you watch that movie with me, you watch it and you love it.
Sports: Basketball- it’s the only one I pretend to play
Meat: Chicken
Fruit: Delicious plums, I don’t like them too tart though, my poor mouth can’t handle the too tart stuff, I’m a bit of a pansy that way
Place to visit: Home, I guess. I feel like I don’t really visit there, I just go there. Home is my favorite place to go. Home to my family. My family is not a place, but I put home as a synonym for family so I like to visit my family in the home.
Month: December
Singer: Devin Shipp
Shows: Jeopardy. I just can not get enough of that
Juice: Apple
Finger: I know that people will argue with me here, but I love my thumbs, they are gorgeous. I was actually a thumb model for quite some time. I have scars on both of them now so my career is over. It was wonderful while it lasted and I still love them, more than the other fingers
Ice Cream: I’m actually not a big fan of ice cream, but my favorite flavor would have to be Chocolate chip cookie dough. I think I like it because of the cookie dough
Breakfast: the standard pancake/French toast thing which generally comes with hash browns and eggs and some sort of breakfast meat.
Perfume: Anything Tommy Hilfiger. I love to smell like not my natural self
Have You Ever------------------------------------------
Given anyone a bath: I have not. Still looking for someone to say yes to that
Smoked: no
Bungee jumped: no
Broken the law: very much so
Made yourself throw-up: have I induced vomiting? I suppose I have. I did things that led me to vomit so I guess in essense I “made myself throw-up” There was a Saturday we were feeling invincible so some friends and I each got a bag of circus peanuts and a 2 litter soda of our choice. Then we drank ourselves merry and ate circus peanuts. I vomited several times very soon after consuming and then through out the night. I missed a church dance that night. I wonder at times if I missed meeting the woman of my dreams because of that.
Been in the opposite sex's washroom: oh gosh yes, I’ve cleaned them, I’ve hid in them, I’ve used them for their main purpose, I’ve done it all. Everything that can be done there, I’ve done it. Everything, absolutely everything
Eaten a dog biscuit: no, I feel like I have not had the opportunity to eat a dog biscuit. Would I if the chance arose? I’m not sure. I’d like to think that I would not eat that dog biscuit. But how hungry was I when I had the chance? Very? I believe if I was starving I would eat that biscuit. Eat it and enjoy it. Thank you.
Put your tongue on a frozen pole: Pole-no, that bar that keeps food from falling out of the freezer on some refrigerator models-yes. It’s true what they say about those cold metal things.
Broken a bone: no
Played truth or dare: Oh yes, not too long ago even. That is a game that goes down hill quickly so I think a lot of us shy away from it. And when we don’t shy away from it we don’t ask the hard questions, we kind of wimp out and such.
Been in a physical fight: Physical- yes. Fist-no. Is there a difference? I feel so
Been in a police car: On my mission
Been on a plane: yes
Been in a sauna: yes in the holiday inn party dome thing. Its called something like that. How can I be expected to remember?!!?!?!? OKAY?! Gosh…
Been in a hot tub: yes
Swam in the ocean: indeed I have
Fallen asleep in school: multiple times.
SEVERAL QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN REMOVED HERE BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST PLAIN DIRTY AND INCRIMINATING. I WILL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT…ask me privately those of you who wish to know. ; )
Broken someone's heart: I don’t think that I have, but there are occasions when you have a secret admirer you are not aware of and you start a relationship with someone other than them and your secret admirer has his/her little heart broken. I wouldn’t know if that has happened if that was the case. I’d like to think that I have a lot of intense secret admirers though, so I’m going to go ahead and say “Yes, I have broken many hearts.” Also, by way of information, I put “his/her” because the gender of the reader will change, not because I feel like a lot of men are crushing on me. We clear on this?
Cried when someone died: Yes'm
Flashed someone: My privates? They are called such for a reason folks.
Lied: Oooh, famous for it, I am.
Laughed so hard you fell off your chair: Maybe
Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call: No. I am not the phone type.
Saved any txt messages: no
Saved e-mails: temporarily
Wished you were someone else: not really, I like what I’m working with here
Wished you were a member of the opposite sex: no
Made out with JUST a friend?: WOOOOOHEEEEE boy howdy
Been rejected?: I’ve made a habit of it
Been in love?: Oh It’s so hard to tell the difference between love and lust. Isn’t it guys? Am I right?....no, I’ve not been in love.
Used someone: I’m sure of it
Been cheated on?: Not to my knowledge. Why would any one?
Done something you regret?: HAVEN’T WE ALL?
First Thing That Comes to Mind---------------------------
Red: roses
Blue: deep blue sea
Happy: thoughts
Autumn: those blocks that spell out the word that’s in an office just down the hall from where I work.
Cow: bell
What Is------------------------------------------
Your good luck charm: I don’t think I have one. That will need to change. That why I’ve had all this bad luck
Stupidest thing you have ever done: I skipped this question in my original post and I apologize. I told myself i would come back to it when I had more time to sort through the many experiences. I'm still struggling to think of a good one to share over the internet. I feel like taking fluorescent light bulbs from an elementary school dumpster and breaking them all over the place at a school with only one way in and out for a car and having someone call the police and when we heard the sirens removing my shirt and covering the license plate and driving at a fantastic speed to find an appropriate hiding spot was a stupid thing. also getting membranous glomerulonephritis was a bad idea. Learn from my mistakes friends. Please.
Whats your room like: Well, it is in the attic. There is a good amount of floor space but a poor amount of ceiling space due to the slanted ceiling. It is strictly wood with some rugs placed on one half of it. It is accesed by pull down step ladder and is kept blazing hot in the summer and freezing in the winter.
Your most prized possession: my broken washburn
Last thing you said: “You be safe”
Last thing you ate: A barbecue chicken sandwhich and some French onion sun chips. I don’t recommend that sandwhich, it was pretty soggy.
Fave song: Pachelbel's Canon in D major
What kind of shampoo do you use?: that Suave Strawberry mountain rush stuff.
The best thing that has happened to you this year: getting to see my family again
Have You Ever Had------------------------------------------
Chicken pox: YES, there is proof of it in the little mark they make when you rip them off on my forehead
Sore Throat: oh yeah, it was the start of the cold I am currently battling
Cold: why yes!
Stitches: Yes, in my head. It was a fascinating story of triumph and coming of age. Also I saved a small child and a family of endangered animals. I’ll tell you all about it some day
Bloody nose: oh yes, this dry mountain air will do nothing if not give you a bloody nose.
Scars: many, I feel that they remind me that the past is real, I tear my heart open just to feel. Who ever can name that song will win a hug and kiss
Do You------------------------------------------
Believe in love at first sight: I’ve yet to experience so I feel like I should remain neutral
Enjoy parks: oh yeah. Who doesn’t?
Like picnics: I suppose I like the idea of them. I can not remember actually going on one myself. I will have to remedy that
Like school: sometimes
What schools have you gone to: Winnie the Pooh preschool in Leesburg Virginia, Highland elementary in Naperville illinois, Union Mill elementary in Centreville Virginia, Rocky Run middle School in Chantilly Virginia, Centreville Highschool in Centreville Virginia and BYU
Would You------------------------------------------
Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000: oh ABSOLUTELY
Go to a hanson concert if you had a free ticket: if it was close by and I didn’t have much else to do, I would
Kill someone you didn’t know for 15 billion dollars: no….well….no
Who------------------------------------------
Who is the last person that called you: Eric Fetching Cottrell
Who was the last person you slow danced with: I did a bit of a hip hop slow jam with a miss Brooke Brown for a hot minute
Makes you laugh the most: My roommates
Makes you smile: beautiful hunnies
Can make you feel better no matter what: beautiful hunnies
Who was the last person you touched?: oooh…I’d rather not say….
You talked to last: my coworker daniel
You hugged?: My not being able to remember makes me think that I need to be more huggable. I hearby make a pact to hug more.
You yelled at: oh im sure it was preston for always breaking wind in a horrible manner
Told you they loved you: My mom
Text you last: BKB in response to my love text
Is your loudest friend: oh I don’t know
Do You/Are You------------------------------------------
Do you like filling these out: it certainly kept me busy for a while
Do you like yourself: what's not to like?
Do you get along with your family? Very much so
Do you do drugs? OTC
Color your hair?: no
Have piercings below the waist?: 2
Habla espanol?: no
Stolen anything over $50: no
Smoke: no
Obsessive: no
Anorexic: little bit

Earth, Wind & Fire

2008-09-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

By show of hands how many of you were aware that this September marks the 25th anniversary of Baby Safety Month? I was and am. My first Baby Safety Month was celebrated appropriately as a baby in 1987. We were excited about a measly 4 year anniversary then. So much has changed since . I go to the bathroom in my pants considerably less. Also I'm walking now.